Goblin Queen Ann Coulter Gets Schooled By Airline After Full-Blown Drama Queen Meltdown

Goblin Queen Ann Coulter Gets Schooled by Airline After Full-Blown Drama Queen Meltdown

Ann Coulter, Goblin Queen Of The Alt-Right Forest, Is Scream-Crying On Social Media After Being Moved To Another Seat On An Airplane

Have you ever wondered what might happen if a child were to grow into adulthood having never once received a hug from either of her parents, or anyone in her nuclear or extended family for that matter? Ann Coulter. That’s what happens.

On Saturday, Goblin Queen Ann Coulter was flying from New York to Florida via Delta Airlines. Before takeoff, Coulter was asked to move from a seat she had intentionally booked to another seat. And like a teenage drama queen whose Sweet Sixteen birthday cake showed a red Ferrari instead of the blue one she had demanded, the alt-right pundit and hate-mongering sociopath had a full-blown temper tantrum, the sort of conniption fit that would hopefully make her parents look at each other remorsefully and question every terrible decision they ever made whilst raising her.

Related: Robert Reich Delivers Epic Smackdown to Ann Counter After ‘Free Speech’ Whine (VIDEO)

Coulter exploded at Delta Airlines via her Twitter account on Saturday, posting ten tweets targeting and belittling not only Delta Airlines and their staff, but the company’s other customers as well. Since Saturday, Coulter has tweeted or re-tweeted about Delta Airlines a total of 40 times, which means she has sent out 50 tweets total as of this article being written, all of them whining childishly about the mildest inconvenience any airline passenger could ever possibly encounter.

But the worst of her tweets are so vile that they nearly border on criminal. In posts we will not share here directly, Coulter decided to take photos of a Delta flight attendant as well as the woman who got the seat she had reserved, and then post both photos without their subjects’ permission to Twitter, in a sickening attempt to publicly shame them both for her otherwise comically mild inconvenience.

How did Delta Airlines respond? At first, they attempted to help Ann Coulter with what appears to be above-average customer support.

But after realizing that Coulter had attempted to shame their staff and their other customers, Delta put her in her place.

Delta went on to issue an official company response to Coulter’s disgusting behavior on Sunday, noting that the company’s efforts to reach out to Coulter prior to Sunday evening had proven fruitless.

“We are sorry that the customer did not receive the seat she reserved and paid for. More importantly, we are disappointed that the customer has chosen to publicly attack our employees and other customers by posting derogatory and slanderous comments and photos in social media. Her actions are unnecessary and unacceptable. 

Each of our employees is charged with treating each other as well as our customers with dignity and respect. And we hold each other accountable when that does not happen.

Delta expects mutual civility throughout the entire travel experience.”

What Delta didn’t mention — but I’d be remiss not to point this out — is that Ann Coulter is clearly more interested in childishly whining than anything else. I was under the impression conservatives hated “hand-outs,” but that apparently hasn’t thwarted Coulter’s efforts to milk this minor inconvenience for every last drop of free attention and sympathy she can squeeze out of it. What a fucking snowflake.

Related: Alt-Right Goblin Ann Coulter Encourages North Korea to NUKE An American City in Stomach-Churning Tweet

Delta didn’t specify whether or not they would allow Coulter to fly with them again or if they would take any disciplinary actions against her for rage-photographing their staff and their other customers without their permission. If they decided to ban her from ever flying with them again, no one outside of the basement-dwelling alt-right would think any less of them. Knowing their company respects the privacy of their customers enough to bar those who take advantage of that privacy would make me into a Delta fan pretty quickly.

I can only hope and pray that one day, I find myself sitting beside Ann Coulter on a really long flight. I vow that I will do every last thing within my power to make that flight as miserable for her as I possibly can within the confines of what is legally acceptable. Every snore I can rattle her with, every nauseating peanut fart I can muster, every minute detail of every cat photo I’ve ever seen online that I can over-exuberantly describe to her… she’ll get double-barrels of awful from me from wheels-up to wheels-down. Add this article to your vision boards, folks. Let’s make this happen!

Featured photo courtesy of Chip Somodevilla/ Getty Images

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Matt Terzi is a political satirist and essayist from Binghamton, New York, who has written for some of the most prominent satire publications in the country. He’s now moving into more “serious” subject matter, without losing touch with his comedic roots