New Data Shows Young Voters Should Scare The Crap Out Of The GOP

New Data Shows Young Voters Should Scare The Crap Out Of The GOP

New Polling Data Shows Young Voters Yearn For A More Progressive America

The GOP tends to be wrong about a great many things, but at least, their name — The Grand Ole’ Party — is on the money. According to right-wing consultant Frank Luntz’ latest polling data, young voters are more progressive than ever before, and that’s definitely bad news for the geriatric GOP… and Hillary Clinton isn’t going to like these numbers, either.

Luntz’ data shows that America’s young voters are intelligent, politically-savvy, and as liberal as liberal gets. They’re angry about corruption, greed, income inequality, government, racism, materialism, and capitalism, in that order, and a staggering number of respondents say they’re heading to the polls in the hopes of correcting those problems.

But despite those perceived flaws, they still have a particularly sunny outlook for America’s future, with 88 percent saying they’re optimistic about their future economic prospects, and 61 percent saying America’s best days are still ahead. Also, 75 percent of respondents stated that they believe they’ll have greater financial stability than their parents, with only 6 percent saying they’re afraid they’ll be worse off.

America’s Young Voters #FeelTheBern

Much of Luntz’ data reads as if Bernie Sanders himself were hooked up to some sort of crazy cyberpunk dream-reader machine: young voters are none too happy with corporations, inequality, or government corruption… all the things Sanders rails against on a daily basis.

According to the data, a majority of young voters prefer socialism over capitalism (58 percent versus 33 percent). They believe corporate America “embodies everything that is wrong with America (66 percent versus 34 percent).” Majorities of respondents also named income inequality and education as higher priorities than national security and terrorism, while also putting nurses and doctors, teachers, and soldiers at the very tops of their lists of most respected professions.

Bernie Sanders has even more good news coming his way: nearly one-third (31 percent) of all respondents #FeelTheBern, naming Sanders as the political figure they like and respect the most, dethroning President Obama, who fell to 18 percent, and Hillary Clinton, who fell to a fairly miserable 11 percent

Here’s your cherry, Bernie: 87 percent of respondents say they plan on voting in 2016, an impressively high number for the 18-26 crowd who almost never turns up on election day. To date, Sanders has won the youth vote in every primary and caucus by huge, resounding landslides. That’s going to make all the difference in bigger States, like New York and California.

If Young Voters Show Up, The GOP Is In Serious Trouble… And So Is Hillary Clinton

If the data presented by Frank Luntz is accurate, it shows overwhelmingly that despite the GOP’s best efforts toward procrastination, America’s youth is hell-bent on positive change and optimistic they can see it through. The Republican Party is a dying entity, and there’s no place for them in a future where people actually know what socialism is.

The GOP, as well as Bernie Sanders’ primary rival, Hillary Clinton, represents an old guard in American politics. The smoky backroom in a shady Capitol Hill office where dutiful purveyors of power and industry cajole with elected officials, rubbing their hands together villainously like a 1920’s cinema antagonist who just tied a damsel to a set of train tracks. Young voters want all of that hope and change promised to us back in 2008. And Bernie Sanders? He’s the only candidate offering both.

Featured Image via Flickr/Max Goldberg

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Matt Terzi is a political satirist and essayist from Binghamton, New York, who has written for some of the most prominent satire publications in the country. He’s now moving into more “serious” subject matter, without losing touch with his comedic roots