RELAX: A Fox News 'Psycho' Analyst's Deranged Defense Of Trump As 'Stone Cold Sane'

RELAX: A Fox News ‘Psycho’ Analyst’s Deranged Defense Of Trump As ‘Stone Cold Sane’

News Corpse Banner
In recent weeks there have been several reports characterizing the mental stability of President Donald Trump. Some of these have been partisan assessments by political opponents. Others have been more detailed warnings from mental health professionals about his “malignant narcissism”. There have even been bipartisan bills drafted to mandate a White House psychiatrist. However, “Doctor” Keith Ablow, a member of the Fox News Medical A-Team, has his own professional diagnosis that comes to a different conclusion. He believes that Trump is as sane as you and I. But the reasons he gives are – well – batshit crazy.

The Ablow Files

Ablow starts off with a disclaimer that he has never examined Trump. It is considered unethical for doctors to make diagnoses of people who have never personally been under their care. Funny, Ablow never bothered to offer that disclaimer when he was unethically (and absurdly) diagnosing President Obama. What follows is a rundown from his latest article for Fox News. In it Ablow says Trump is totally sane because:

He’s rich and famous:

“When a man acquires billions of dollars through complex real estate transactions, invests in many countries, goes on to phenomenal success in television and turns his name into a worldwide brand, it is very unlikely that he is mentally unstable.”

Of course. Everyone knows there aren’t any wealthy business people with mental illness. They can just buy some new sanity if they lose theirs. Rich people are always perfect in body, mind, and bank account. Take Howard Hughes for example.

He’s a good family man:

“When the same man obviously enjoys the love and respect of his children and his wife, who seem to rely on him for support and guidance, it is extraordinarily unlikely that he is mentally unstable.”

Indeed. And Trump is so stable that he’s currently on his third wife. And each of his marriages have been marred by flagrant and public infidelities. Plus, his current wife and their child rely on him so much for support that they declined to live with him in the White House.

He’s a political wrecking crew:

“When the same man walks into the political arena and deftly defeats 16 Republican opponents and then the Democratic heir-apparent to a two-term president’s administration, the odds of that man being mentally unstable become vanishingly thin.”

Because nothing says mental stability like viciously maligning your own party colleagues with childish nicknames and outlandish allegations. Just ask Lyin’ Ted Cruz whose father worked with JFK assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald.

He’s a bureaucrat magnet:

“And when that very same man attracts to his team the kind of intellect and gravitas represented (to name just a few) by Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Dr. Ben Carson, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Secretary of Defense James Mattis, a retired Marine Corps general and commander of the U.S. Central Command, he cannot be mentally deranged. Period. It is a statistical impossibility.”

That’s right. After all, who ever heard of someone accepting a lucrative and powerful government job when offered one? That’s especially true of unqualified nominees like Carson, Rick Perry, and Betsy Devos. And the billionaire, Goldman Sachs, swamp dwellers have their own selfish reasons.

But perhaps the most profoundly absurd defense of Trump’s sanity was Ablow’s personal testimonial and endorsement of Trump branded products and services:

He’s a walking Trump infomercial

“Anecdotally, by the way, I have never had one bad Trump experience. Not one. I own several of his ties — all of them of the highest quality. I’ve stayed in his hotels and never had a single complaint (and I am a born complainer). I have eaten in his New York restaurant — flawless service, excellent food. I own an apartment at Trump Place in Manhattan. Impeccable design, sturdy construction, fabulous amenities. A mentally unstable man would be unlikely to deliver superior products across multiple industries, don’t you think?”

Seriously? Ablow thinks that Trump is the picture of sanity because ties manufactured in China, but branded with his name, meet his standards as a consumer. Similarly, Ablow’s Trump Place condo is in a building that the Trump Organization developed but does not own. And does any sane person think that Trump is responsible for the food and service at a restaurant with his name plastered on the front?

Ablow went on to suggest that the performance of the stock market is another indication of Trump’s mental health. Sure, it’s up about 2,000 points since the election. It’s notable that none of Trump’s fiscal policies have been implemented in that time. Nor would it reflect on his sanity if they were. However, since he’s handing out credit, Obama must be super-sane, because the market rose 12,000 points during his presidency. Except that, as noted above, Ablow has already diagnosed Obama as mentally challenged. Nevertheless, it’s clear that the markets are still running on the economic policies of the Obama administration.

RELATED: Whining Fox News Must’ve Forgotten How They Treated Obama On Day One – Here’s A Reminder

And if it weren’t enough for Ablow to construct a preposterous case for Trump’s mental health, he also had to portray his critics as mental deficients. He called anyone who questioned Trump’s psychological status “political opportunists, or fools, or both.” Then he singled out Sen. Al Franken as an example. Specifically, he called Franken’s sanity into question because Franken and Elizabeth Warren are allies and Warren once said she had Native American ancestry. First of all, she only said that because that’s what her parents told her. Having never bothered to fact-check her parents doesn’t make her nuts. But regardless, how would that reflect on Franken? Ablow’s psychological prognosis implies that anyone affiliated with Warren is crazy.

Ablow closes by saying “And they’re calling Trump’s sanity into question? Really, you can’t make this stuff up.” Wrong again. Ablow just proved that you can make up whatever the hell you want and Fox News will publish it. After all, this is the same guy who wrote that Donald Trump’s narcissism is exactly what America needs. And my personal favorite, his treatise praising the Unabomber. Now that certifies him as a perfectly sane psychiatrist, don’t you think?

Featured Image screengrab from Fox News.

Mark Howard is the artist/author responsible for News Corpse, a website dedicated to analysis of the media and the right-wing bias inherent in a corporate-dominated media marketplace. His work has been published by nationally known progressive outlets such as Alternet and Salon. Follow News Corpse on Twitter and Facebook.