20 Sad, Sick, Messed Up Things Trump Gets Away With That Obama Would Have Been Crucified For

Trump Supporters Would’ve Utterly Lost Their Minds Had President Obama Behaved Like ‘The Donald’

Can you imagine the right-wing’s outrage if President Barack Obama were linked to Russia — a country we’ve been feuding with since at least the 1940’s — in the same ways (plural) that the Trump administration has been? Today’s right-wing Trump supporters are yesterday’s Tea Party, and I don’t think I need to tell you how they’d have reacted, do I?

Watching the Trump “Presidency” unfold in real-time has been a harrowing experience for most Americans. But me? I try to find the good — well, the funny at least — in any situation. And watching hypocritical Trump supporters trip over themselves to avoid criticizing Donald Trump? That’s grade-A comedy gold.

So here’s an exercise for everyone to participate in. I know conservatives won’t play along, because this challenges the fabric of a Trump supporters’ being and all, but you folks are invited to play as well:

I’m going to list off twenty things Donald Trump has done in office and on the campaign trail, in no particular order. But I’m going to phrase each as if Barack Obama had done them while in office, or on the campaign trail leading up to the 2008 presidential election. How would today’s Trump supporters have reacted then had Obama actually done these things?

20 Things Hypocritical Trump Supporters Would’ve Lost It Over Had Obama Done Them

1. Obama Traveled to Florida at the taxpayers expense almost every single weekend, staying at a resort he owns. I can see the Fox News headline now: “Obama lines own pockets with taxpayer funds while golfing, vacationing on OUR dime!”

2. Michelle Obama refused to live in the White House, deciding instead to stay in Chicago with one or both of her daughters, with six-figure estimated daily costs, all while rather vaguely hinting at the idea that they might move into the White House after the school year, maybe.

3. Obama declared war on all of the media he didn’t like, labeling it all as “fake news.” Imagine if he kicked out the entire White House press corps, with the exceptions of left-leaning publications that he liked.

4. Obama vented random conspiracy theories on Twitter. Imagine Obama saying George W. Bush had wiretapped his Chicago residence, despite every intelligence agency denying that it had happened and with no proof whatsoever apart from a poorly-written article that appeared on a left-wing website.

5. Obama nominated a green energy tycoon as Secretary of State, and this individual had absolutely NO foreign policy or diplomatic experience whatsoever. And the closest thing to experience this person did have tied them questionably to Russia. Speaking of Russia…

6. Obama had numerous questionable ties to Russia, including several members of both his campaign staff and his White House staff, one of whom asked for immunity amid a serious investigation because he obviously had something damning to report. And all of this after it was revealed that Russia had tampered with the US election, and may have played a critical role in getting Obama into the White House rather than John McCain.

7. Obama had openly praised Putin AFTER all of these allegations had come to light and continued to be publicly cozy with Russia’s infamous dictator.

8. Obama claimed he would “drain the swamp,” and then promptly filled his cabinet with wealthy tycoon-types and banker fat cats. Imagine if Obama had also given his own daughter (let’s pretend she was in her 30’s) a seat in his cabinet and had made her husband a point-man on all sorts of serious business.

9. Obama forgot to mention the Jewish people on Holocaust Remembrance Day, and had previously Tweeted quotes from anti-Semitic white nationalist groups. I thought conservatives loved Israel? What happened there?

10.  Obama organized a press conference where he was supposed to sign an executive order, but then forgot to sign it and stormed out when reporters started asking him questions. He’s obviously self-conscious about his tiny, baby-like hands. Maybe he didn’t want people seeing him holding a normal pen and then thinking “Wow, that’s like one of those fat oversized pencils they made us use in the first grade!”

11. Obama used the National Day Of Prayer to ramble on about how awesome he was, instead of doing any praying. Donald didn’t even read a verse from his favorite Biblical episode, “Corinthians 2: Corinthian Harder” or his second favorite, “Corinthians 3: The Search For Curly’s Gold.”

12. Obama repeatedly made creepy, inappropriate comments about one of his own daughters that made the average Americans’ skin crawl.

13. Obama openly encouraged violence against protestors at his rallies, calling on his supporters to beat up those Tea Partiers who showed up to oppose or question him.

14. Obama refused to release his tax returns. Of course, if Obama then buckled and released them, conservatives would’ve demanded he release the long-form version while continuing to make up conspiracy theories, because that’s what the alt-right does.

15. One of Obama’s senior staffers went on television and plugged a private business venture owned by a member of the Obama family. Let’s say Sasha Obama opened a lemonade stand, and David Axelrod went on MSNBC and said “Everyone go buy her lemonade right now, it’s the best lemonade in DC! Yes, I’m plugging her business! Go do it or you hate America!”

16. Obama signed a bill allowing the mentally ill to buy firearms. The NRA would’ve referred to him as Hitler, despite this being on their own agenda. And Rush Limbaugh would’ve gone on the radio and said something akin to “Now Obama is trying to take our guns away and give them to retards! And yeah, I’m using that offensive word, because I’m Rush Limbaugh, and unless you’re selling oxy I don’t give a damn!”

17. Michelle Obama had plagiarized a bunch of her 2008 DNC speech, borrowing lines from Laura Bush in 2000 or 2004. Conservatives would’ve set a new RMPS record (that’s “racist memes per second”).

18. A conservative had threatened Obama with a gun, the way Snoop Dogg “threatened” Trump in his recent music video. Oh wait! Sorry… that one actually happened a few times, most notably with Ted Nugent’s threats to shoot and kill Obama and Hillary, and when Sharron Angle called for “second amendment remedies” to stop Harry Reid, or when Trump himself asked “the second amendment people” to stop a would-be President Hillary Clinton. I guess they were on vacation and out of the country when those things happened?

19. Obama promised he’d build a wall and that Mexico, not taxpayers, would pay for it, but then turned around and said “nevermind, taxpayers WILL pay for my asinine border wall.” And let’s not forget that Trump wants taxpayers to pay for his wall not once, but TWICE.

20. Obama embraced a far-left “news” website and appointed their former boss as the White House’s Chief Strategist. Let’s imagine this fictional figure is just as controversial as Steve Bannon, only as a left-wing extremist rather than a right-wing extremist, pushing wild, outlandish, unfounded conspiracy theories and steering his already-fringed website into overdrive loony bin territory.

I openly defy any conservative to respond to any one of these points in the comments below and admit openly how they would’ve reacted had Obama actually done these things. I double-dog-dare you. Just don’t be upset when your fellow right-wing fringers refer to you as a “cuck” and a “RINO” and stop being your friend. Though to be brutally honest, you should have better friends than these nutters to begin with!

Featured photo courtesy of Evan Vucci – Pool/ Getty Images

Matt Terzi is a political satirist and essayist from Binghamton, New York, who has written for some of the most prominent satire publications in the country. He's now moving into more "serious" subject matter, without losing touch with his comedic roots