Sexting Time For God Loving GOP House Speaker

Man, this stuff is HOT!!! And by “hot”, we mean cheesy in a B- Grade movie, bordering on an 80s After School Special kind of way. Get a load of this dialog:

Diehl: God I want you right now.

Intern: I wish you could have me right now.

Diehl: Damn. We need lot of time and s quiet room.

Intern: That sounds amazing.

Diehl: Will have my way with you.

Intern: Soon enough.

Diehl: And leave you quivering.

Who is this Diehl, this bargain-basement Ron Jeremy? Why, he’s none other than John Diehl, Republican Speaker of the House for Missouri!

(stage whisper) Oh, and that Intern? Not Mrs. Diehl.

Normally the Speaker of the House of Missouri going down on a sexting scandal featuring “dialog” this …ahem… flaccid, would just be a sad spectacle. But Speaker Diehl upped the volume to 11 on this one by being A: married B: married with three sons C: married with three sons and a track record of Bible-shaking “Family Values” anti-gay legislation. Oh, and D: married with three sons and a track record of Bible-shaking “Family Values” anti-gay legislation, plus SEXTING AN INTERN. Seriously, did we learn nothing from Anthony Wiener? Bill Clinton?

Yeah, how’s that whole family values thing workin’ out for ya?

Speaker Diehl’s career could use a fluff. After pandering so hard for their support, perhaps he could text the Southern Baptists.

On second thought, maybe not…

Image Source: Todd Kravos

Brian Westbye is a freelance writer with a passion for a great story. A failed corporate drone, he is feverishly penning op-ed, memoir, fiction and poetry, and working on his first book, a memoir ode to the Great American Road Trip and the Great American Midlife Crisis. World Domination will follow.