Meet Donald Trump. He’s got a problem. He just can’t seem to make himself stop saying stupid shit about Mexicans. And why would he even try? Sure, racism’s bad for business, but ever since Trump made that first anti-Mexican comment his poll numbers have skyrocketed. Maybe Trump will be our next president after all.

Now, Business Insider reports, Trump’s released the insane, word-salady, anti-Mexican statement to end all anti-Mexican statements.

The entrepreneur and Republican presidential candidate sent out an epic three-page, 881 word statement on Monday afternoon detailing his belief that “the worst elements in Mexico are being pushed into the United States by the Mexican government.”

First, Trump blames Mexicans for all our drug problems, while conveniently forgetting that hisfellow Republican Ronald Reagan’s foreign policy played a huge part in creating the Central American drug cartels.

“The largest suppliers of heroin, cocaine and other illicit drugs are Mexican cartels that arrange to have Mexican immigrants trying to cross the borders and smuggle in the drugs. The Border Patrol knows this,”

Oh, and then, Trump goes and blames Mexicans and other immigrants for all our diseases, as though we white folks weren’t the ones who brought small pox and other deadly maladies over here in the first place.

“Likewise, tremendous infectious disease is pouring across the border. The United States has become a dumping ground for Mexico and, in fact, for many other parts of the world.”

Oh, but wait…There’s more. Because Donald Trump is the gift that keeps on giving. He whines about how his racist remarks were “deliberately distorted by the media.” Trump then insists there was nothing at all wrong with any of his anti-Mexican statements.

“I don’t see how there is any room for misunderstanding or misinterpretation of the statement I made on June 16th during my Presidential announcement speech. What can be simpler or more accurately stated? The Mexican Government is forcing their most unwanted people into the United States. They are, in many cases, criminals, drug dealers, rapists, etc.”

And even though Trump’s not gay (not that there’d be anything wrong with that), he claims he knows lots of fabulous people from Mexico.

“Many fabulous people come in from Mexico and our country is better for it. But these people are here legally, and are severely hurt by those coming in illegally. I am proud to say that I know many hard working Mexicans—many of them are working for and with me…and, just like our country, my organization is better for it.”

And Trump still doesn’t understand why–when the beating red heart of the GOP’s base suddenly embraces him–his now-former business partners won’t touch him with a 10-foot pole.

“I have lost a lot during this Presidential run defending the people of the United States. I have always heard that it is very hard for a successful person to run for President. Macy’s, NBC, Serta and NASCAR have all taken the weak and very sad position of being politically correct even though they are wrong in terms of what is good for our country,”

CNN’s Mexican Mashup, Starring Donald Trump.

In case you don’t realize how desperately in need of help Donald Trump is, here’s CNN’s video mashup with clips of Donald Trump saying stupid shit about Mexicans.

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