A video going viral on YouTube shows a hilarious satirical rant that mocks the most delusional, paranoid, stupid, demented, face-palm evoking, bang-your-head-against-the-wall-multiple-times furor that is coming out of Texas lately. In it, a chew-spitting red-blooded “patriotic redneck” from Texas, delivers a diatribe that only a single digit IQ Alex Jones devotee would be proud of.

Clearly in need of some dental work and a GED, this unidentified man who goes by the moniker The1316killer on YouTube, and has evidently received an overdose of Alex Jones and Fox News, is quite perturbed over the U.S. military conducting training exercises in his beloved state of Texas. Formally known as Jade Helm 15, the training exercises are scheduled to take place this summer across five western states which of course includes Texas, which is considered to be the equivalent of Israel, by every God-fearing, Obama hating, freedom-loving, Rush Limbaugh-worshiping Republican, in America. And they have decided that these military exercises in Texas, is part of a nefarious plot to instill martial law and round-up all of these patriots and their guns, in order to hold them captive in abandoned Walmarts. Or something like that, anyway…

The furor started, when Texas lunatic Republican Governor, Greg Abbott, decided to pander to the most idiotic demographic in America. Publicly asking the Texas National Guard to monitor the training exercises just in case those members of the U.S. military, decides to go all martial law on Texas one day at the behest of their Muslim, Anti-Christ, American-hating, Kenyan President.

Abbott was joined by super tough guy,Chuck Norris and other Republicans, eager to gin up fear from the low-IQ, gun-hugging, Fox News-watching, Obama Derangement Syndrome suffering Texans. And the end result is that a bunch of Texans are now preparing themselves for the second civil war.

In actuality, the military has to train here in order to become proficient at fighting for oil our liberty and freedom and all of that good patriotic stuff. When our military goes over to Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, or some other Middle Eastern nation, that’s not considered to be a training exercise.

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