OMFG: The Official Trump Presidential Coin Looks Like a Hideous Vegas Whorehouse Token

OMFG: The Official Trump Presidential Coin Looks Like a Hideous Vegas Whorehouse Token

So, Donald Trump has unveiled his official presidential challenge coin, and you’d better be wearing sunglasses. Strike that — make it welding goggles. It’s better to be safe than sightless. I mean this thing is so hideous, so gaudy, so flashy, it might even be battery powered. It’s so goddamned loud it goes to 11.

The Trump Challenge coin is hideous

The presidential challenge coin, a solemn tradition of sorts for decades, is typically handed out by the POTUS as a memento, often to members of the military. Traditionally, the coin has only seen subtle changes over the years, and has had a very dignified appearance.


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Of course, now we’re living in the age of The Donald. Lover of all things golden (showers, anyone?), lover of all things himself. Naturally, his coin would reflect that. As at least one White House staffer proclaimed, the coin is;

“Very gold.” 

Yeah, thanks man. We noticed. It’s also the size of a fucking manhole cover.

The Washington Post reports that there are some traditional elements to the coin that appear to not appear on Trump’s raffish doubloon.

The words “E pluribus unum (Latin for ‘out of many, one’)?” GONE. The 13 arrows that represented the original states? GONE. The, uh… presidential seal? Well, that’s not as important as Trump’s signature (apparently), so that’s gone, too. You’ll be happy to know that the word “TRUMP,” appears on the coin, though. A LOT. If you added a red, white, and blue lanyard, this thing would be right at home around somebody’s neck on an Olympic podium (“USA! USA! USA!”). I suspect that if one looked under a microscope, the entire face of both sides would reveal millions of golden orange images of… Donald Trump. It’s also rimmed with scallops. Because why not.

Rumor has it, if you hold the massive hulk of hardware just right, and reflect the light onto a spot on the wall just so, it opens up the secret money counting room at Mar-a-Lago… Can’t confirm. Rumor.

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

Featured image courtesy of Pixabay, public domain.