These Domestic Terrorists Oregon Lunatics Don’t Seem Very Prepared To Take On Government…

Saturday, domestic terrorists from various militia groups entered federal land and took control of a federal building…on a bird sanctuary…because reasons.

The leader of the pack, Ammon Bundy, son of Cliven Bundy from the Nevada BLM standoff told the media the group was willing to die trying to achieve their objective — stealing land from the government — and planned on being on the property for YEARS if it came to that. Ammon is also joined by his brothers Mel and Ryan.

Also, on the property is known domestic terrorist Jon Ritzheimer, the infamous shithead known for his armed protests outside of mosques. He sent a tearful “goodbye” video to his wife and kids ahead of the occupation on federal land — which is hilarious — but he also recently sent out a plea for things the men should have brought ahead of usurping a government building in freezing temperatures.

Blaine Cooper has been relaying the group’s messages to social media:

The Oregon lunatics need snacks.

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

Also in a separate post, Ritzheimer asked fora few key items for himself and his domestic terrorist friends:

Things we could use:
cold weather socks
energy drinks
equipment for cold weather
snow camo
anything you think will help.

Thank you all for the support

So let’s get this straight. These guys, who plan to stay on the refuge for years if need be, traveled to a remote location in the dead of winter and are in short supply of warm clothes, Redbulls, and snacks? Oh, this is too great.

Obviously, the internet was also equally pleased.

“We don’t want your money.” *Translation: “Please send money.”

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

[email protected] Well,this should teach them 2 pack more cheezy poofs next time they break into a wildlife refuge and threaten to kill people

— twoOneSix (@TwoOneSix216) January 4, 2016

@imraansiddiqi my mom cooked hella pallau and chalau last night. Think they’d be ok w/ afghan food?

— Wagma Mommandi (@wagmamommandi) January 3, 2016

@imraansiddiqi @EllenDatlow They want snacks? Send them Cocoa Puffs. They’re obviously cuckoo!

— Aaron Smith (@AaronSmith377) January 3, 2016


The response on Facebook was also hilarious:

“Energy drinks. Of course.”

“It takes a really special kind of idiot to try to protest the federal government while asking people to send you stuff through the USPS.”

“Wow, for Militia, you sure went in totally unprepared. OathKeepers have made a public statement regarding your situation.”

“You clowns are like a child who ran away with only a jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of Ritz. Grow up, kids.”

“Lolol anti-government militia using a government service (US Mail) to beg for supplies.. Which they didn’t bring to begin with because they’re idiots with no common sense”

“Waitaminit. You yahoos decide to take over a federal building in the hopes of fomenting governmental overthrow…but you forgot to bring snacks and toilet paper? Okay, then.”

Thank you, internet!

The hypocrisy and idiocy of this whole “standoff” are just too great! These domestic terrorists want snacks sent to them via care packages by the socialist mail system. They didn’t have the foresight or planning to bring everything they would need beforehand, and now they’re mooching off of people trying to get their free handouts. Oh, the irony!

But by golly, they brought their guns! And I’m taking bets that Jon Ritzheimer gets shot and eaten first because he’s the most obnoxious and Ammon Bundy looks the hungriest. Patriots gotta eat, you know? Playing Army is famishing work.

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