Donald Trump’s supporters tend to make some really terrible arguments in favor of his 2016 presidential bid. Hearing some of these remarks makes you wonder if Mike Judge’s seminal 2006 cult classic Idiocracy really was a comedy, or if Judge built some sort of time machine and traveled into the future to film a documentary. Let’s take a look at some of these reasons, which you’ll likely hear if you ever have a chat with one of “The Donald’s” oftentimes belligerent supporters.

He speaks his mind!
This is arguably the most popular pro-Trump statement you’ll likely encounter. Being honest with voters about what you really think is definitely a quality more politicians would benefit from, but the quality of the things your mind is actually pumping out should probably be a factor. If your mind sounds eerily similar to a drunk Mel Gibson, it’s probably best if you don’t give said mind any sort of microphone.

He’s good at business!
We heard this a lot in 2012, too, when Mitt Romney was running. I don’t think some people can grasp the idea that a business and a government are two completely different things and require entirely different skillsets to manage effectively. and let’s not forget that Donald Trump’s businesses have gone bankrupt four different times. That’s not exactly an endorsement of his acumen.

He’s a Washington Outsider!
Donald Trump has never held a political job in his life, and to some, that makes him a worthy candidate. These seem to mostly be the same clowns who questioned President Obama’s experience back in 2008, but I digress. I really want you to stop and think about this argument… Donald Trump has no experience in political negotiation, in foreign diplomacy, in government budgeting, or any other facet of a President’s day-to-day schedule. He doesn’t understand how Capitol Hill works, or how to work with different political factions to achieve what’s best for the American people. So if you think moving to a city you’ve never once been to and becoming a tour guide on your first day there is something more people should be doing, then sure, be glad that Donald Trump is a Washington outsider!

He isn’t owned by corporations!
This almost sounds like a good thing… until you realize there are four different super PACs set up to help Trump win in 2016, and that Trump has a super PAC of his own on top of that. And for a guy claiming he’s going to fund his own campaign, he doesn’t seem to turn down big checks from supporters, either.

He’ll tell foreign leaders like it is and won’t back down!
Yes, that’s EXACTLY what foreign relations and international diplomacy have been lacking for centuries… childish bullheadedness and the bluster of a drunk frat guy angry that a bartender cut him off. Donald Trump puffing his chest out and storming into a delicate negotiation, barking sexist remarks at a female diplomat while calling her country poor and without “class,” and filling in all the gaps with racism and self-aggrandizing compliments about his own wealth… that’s going to do wonders for America’s reputation abroad and all of our vital negotiations with foreign leaders.

If you’re a Trump supporter, and you’ve been basing your arguments for his presidency on one of those aforementioned “qualities,” it’s probably best if you sit down and think carefully about whom you’re backing in 2016. Or better yet, just leave voting to the grownups and don’t participate in 2016 at all. Instead, you can spend that time doing something else that might benefit the human race, like, I dunno… reading books? That’s probably as good a place as any to start.

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